Not confused...trying to keep hope alive!!!

[BRNR]

So, a little bit of a down day today....

15 years ago I met the wonderful man of my life...wow how the time flew, if I only knew then, or even last year, that I would be here...ugh (sob!)

I know everyone will tell me don't, but I wish I could acknowledge to H that that was the most unexpected, greatest day of my life. Man I miss that man!!! Further, I wish that H possibly remembered this day too!!!

Sorry, having a little bit of a sad moment.

Yesterday I read a lot about the "affair fog". And how much of a spell or almost drug induced state a person having an affair is in. Explained a lot. Although, I don't see how any one person can break free from that high. Especially with little old boring me as another option. I know I don't see how my H will. Sad really, wish he could have that high with me...I would love to be in that state of ecstasy with my H.

So, I am not looking for advice today, although it is always accepted. I have no one to talk to about my feelings anymore, or at least anyone I feel like telling. It seems so ridiculous anymore. I wish there was a magic pill that would take all this hurt away today.