I think that many of us here would relate totally to what you are saying. Even in the spew, my xh al s admitted that iwas wonderful.
At one point he sad that he was happy but it wasn't what he wanted any more.
Honestly, it is impossible to understand them. Even this last go round with my xh and his wonderful kids - he wrote to my eldest son that he was proud of them. To which my son replied saying that he would like to be proud of his father but wasn't.
They do not understand/want to understand what is going on and figuring it out is apparently too painful for them.
They run and think they can hide, and when they do peek out they try and sneak back in through the back door hoping no-one will notice or comment on their truly horrible behaviour.
Compassion - up to a point for anyone who is such a mess, but ultimately in life we have to put on grown up pants and deal with the messes that we have made. No-one else is going to ge it for us.
Someone very wise who no longer posts here said that MLCers are selfish, lazy and entitled. Hold onto that thought. Damaged also, and sad, but we all have the choice to do the right thing or not.
Initially they are out of control, but several years down the line I have come to the view that they have an obligation to us and to themselves to deal with what they have done or stay away. This half in and half out of our lives that they seem to want is unnecessary and painful.
