Crazy little thing called MLC

[Raine]

GG I think I'm compassionate towards him, but I don't think I can say I've forgiven at this point. He's not done, and neither am I. It's hard to forgive something that is on repeat. I cycle between being angry, being numb, and being understanding that this is the effect of his pain and his past. I too have wondered do I want him back because of what I've been through, to validate the standing, to validate my worth and my ego, or do I want him?

AJ I agree with you about MIL. Give him an ultimatum about what? Doesn't really work in this situation. If I'm going to file, I'm going to file. If he's going to come back, it's going to be because he wants to, because he is making the changes to be the person I would want to be with. Even if it were possible for me to scare him into changing, I don't want that. If he doesn't want it, neither do I. MIL is very surprised that I haven't D him, that I have so much patience.

I feel bad for him about his parents disconnect from him. I feel like my parents would always be there for me, even if they think I'm wrong and messed up. But he doesn't have the family I do. Never has. He is closer to my family than his own.

Something came up today where he has to make a moving decision. He talked to me about it, wanting me to make the decision or at least give him advise. No way. I told him he needs to do what he feels good about. I have already told him a month ago if he does get his own place, I will take that as he wants to live a single life and I can't support that. I guess that's the next thing he has been thinking that will make him happy, cause nothing else has worked so far. Maybe he needs it for more independence, to grow up. Maybe he needs it to realize it won't make him happy. I just know I'm not going to be able to handle it and supporting paying for a place he would likely bring women back to. So I guess in a way there is already an ultimatum in play I feel good about.