Sorry I have been away for a bit folks, lotsa lotsa stuff going on -- but all good.
XW and I continue to do well - but as noted before there are a lot of tough conversations that have occurred. Many of them allowed me to "correctly" get things off of my chest. That was difficult for her to hear and she said that everything that I said made her feel like sh*t. Oddly enough, I was OK with that. I think in all of this process as we take the necessary looks in the rearview there are going to be times when we BOTH reflect on our actions and feel like sh*t. Still we are doing a much better job communicating and trying to better understand one another. Many times I find myself make a conscience effort to alter my mood or reactions -- it's getting easier.
The downside is that my mother pretty much is not speaking to me. She still feels hurt by XW and I think she would be happier if I had nothing to do with her anymore. She said that she feels that she is owed an apology from XW at some point....and she continually says that SHE (XW) did all of this and caused a tear in the family. My mom wouldn't even watch our S the other night when we had a mutual friend in town because she said she doesn't want to do anything that would help XW. My hope is that time will eventually cure all of this....at the moment, it blows - but I am not putting my mother in front of my XW and son. If she opts to hang on to her ill feelings, that is on her.
I am grateful for everyone on this board that has been along with me (WTH has 25 been????). There will be more to come later.
