I briefly asked W yesterday what she planned on taking and she didnt really say much. We didnt have much time though. I do hope to nail down what she is taking fairly soon.
I think that I have made up my mind to give her the letter. I am just not sure when yet.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
Are you giving her the letter because you think she honestly needs to read it or because you think you need to deliver it? If it isn't the former, DO NOT send it.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I really wanted to do the same to write a letter then discuss it afterwords. I am taking the advise I read on here and be lovingly silent. Im sure they know your intentions and how you feel about them.
I just moved out and took the bare necessities. Im going minimal mode.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
I want to send it because these are things that have never been said. I have zero expectations of it leading to anything. No expectations of any kind of response. I will not discuss the letter with her unless she initiates it.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
I want it said before she leaves. Not because I think it is going to change anything (at this point, I think she has to leave for the sanity of all involved) but because once she leaves I will not want to talk to her about much of anything especially any talk about "us". Also, the letter is actually a 180 for me. As many of you know, I didn't talk about things that bothered me. I stayed quiet and waited for the storms to pass.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
W talked to me for about 30 minutes tonight about her new job. She is really excited about it. I am so happy for her. BUT, it is so hard for me to sit and talk to her. It shouldn't be this hard. Obviously I am nowhere near detached. I am still hurting alot. It is always in the back of my mind, when I talk to her, that I still love her so much. However, with that being said, we had a great conversation. There was a good give and take, we laughed a little. It was how it should be.
Maybe this is selfish but I also think that WE have been cheated. We never really had money problems (didnt have alot but didn't really struggle either) but now with her new job, she is making significantly more money, she enjoys her job much more which makes her happier and it is more fullfiling. We are not going to get to share this with each other. We road through the storms of a miserable job, not much money, stress of young kids and now that all of this is much better we don't get to experience it together.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
W talked to me for about 30 minutes tonight about her new job. She is really excited about it. I am so happy for her.
Gotta watch out for those buts>>>BUT, it is so hard for me to sit and talk with her.
It shouldn't be this hard. Obviously I am nowhere near detached. I am still hurting alot. It is always in the back of my mind, when I talk to her, that I still love her so much.
You are still so early into this, G. Dont be so hard on yourself.
Maybe this is selfish but I also think that WE have been cheated. We never really had money problems (didnt have alot but didn't really struggle either).
You were very fortunate. ^^^.
Oops, the but again>>>>>But now with her new job, she is making significantly more money, she enjoys her job much more which makes her happier and it is more fullfiling. We are not going to get to share this with each other.
No, you are not going to get to share that at this time. I know, though, that you love her unconditionally so you are truly happy for her anyway, right?
You know, G. This all suckks. It does. You feel what you feel. I get that. I believe, though, that everything happens for a reason. And I think this was a journey you and she were meant to go on.
This is a wonderful opportunity to become your best you. And yes, life doesnt happen the way we think it is going to. We just have to accept that. No one knows what the future holds, G. That's why we have to make the present worthwhile.
So for now, be happy that she is happy and fulfilled in her new job. That's what we wish for those we love - without any buts, right? And live your life the very best way you can.
Hey uR! I am doing okay. Haven't been on here much because nothing really new happening. That is, until tomorrow. I think we are telling the girls tomorrow that W is leaving. PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR ME AND MY GIRLS. W still seems set on D once she moves out.
We will also tell all of the family in the next few days. None of them know yet. Talk about a shock. They will all be as blindsided as I was.
I have been feeling a little better recently but the next two weeks are going to be awful. Telling kids and family this week and she moves out next weekend.
Thanks for checking on me Ur.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
