I am doing great. Loving my kids. They are so awesome. Busy at work. Very stressful job right now but I am really enjoying the stress in a way I was never able to. I am finding it exciting and it not causing me anxiety. It must be all the Anti depressants and the work I have done on myself.
Some amazing news. My SIL who has been battling cancer is officially in remission. It is such wonderful news.
Each day on the news I see people a lot less fortunate then I. This week its the people of More, Oklahoma - I cant help but feel happy and grateful when I look at my life.
How goes it with you?
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
I'm very happy to read that your SIL is in remission. That is definitely wonderful news!
How are you and the children doing? Getting ready for summer?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
After a few really great weeks where I was full of positive energy I have come crashing.
I hate to update only when I am down but that is what I tend to do.
It had taken me a few days to even write this post.
H and I go to court this Wednesday and I know that is weighing heavily on me. I am so angry that he is taking me to court while blaming me that I am the one who is holding this up.
Also my father told me that 6 weeks ago at my d3 birthday party, he spoke to my stbx dad and said something nice like even though this is happening we still care for stbx and we don't want any hard feelings between the families. My father in law said well we need to end it as soon as possible.
He too thinks I am dragging out the divorce. I guess I thought fil liked me and wouldn't cast me aside so easily. It hurt my feelings.
Also found out that last weekend he took the girls to his sisters with the ow. I loose all my serenity when I picture them driving as a pseudo family in her car to his sisters. I think it's so f Ed up. Who is this hooker??
Glad I finially came here and wrote my dirty little secrets down.
I love you all and am reading everyones threads constantly, it helps so much to see I am not alone and Also when a positive member of these boards chimes in
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
I am sorry that you are having some down time. Sometimes the down time helps us to think about things and hopefully when you are feeling better, you will be stronger from that period of down time.
Your father was trying to be a good father and FIL to your h and all he wanted to do was let your FIL know that your family still cared for him. I'm not a mind reader, but I think what your FIL was trying to say is that it's gone on too long and it's time for everything to settle down in the way of a divorce. Parents do not like to see their children suffering/hurting and he most likley has only been told one side of the story by your h. So, I can understand where he may be coming from. B, eventually the truth will come to light and his family and friends may begin to see that it was not you, but it's going to be a while. Yes, I can understand your FIL's statement being hurtful, but I do not think he meant the way you are taking it. I could be wrong...but I dont' think so.
Come here any time...this is what the forum is for. This is a safe forum as long as your h doesn't figure out where you are posting and you remove your cookies from your computer each and every day.
Try not to allow what your FIL said to your father get to you. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks snodderly, sometimes logic does not decide our feelings. I am learning to embrace that idea.
I think it takes me a while to come here when I am down because I know my feelings are unlogical and I dont want to admit to my crazy thinking. But its my crazy thinking that effects my mood and that I need to allow myself to feel in order to move on.
Also I haven't been going to Alanon meetings at all lately due to work & kids & life but I need to go to meetings. I need to talk about things that bug me and not let them eat away at me.
I can choose to live in misery or choose to live in happiness.
Ps - My H would never in a million years find me here, he is sooo not looking
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
B, I understand. You need someone to listen while you are bouncing thoughts around. We all have days of crazy thinking and there's nothing wrong w/talking it out either here or at an Alanon meeting. Please try not to allow those thoughts to fester and eat at you. You have entirely too much living to do and there's a world out there waiting for you to embrace it and enjoy it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
