Hey, all. I don't know if you are checking my updates anymore, but I appreciate the hugs and support :-)
I talked to "Joe" today. I had emailed him about more mail he needed to pick up, and he called. It was stressful to talk to him. My face was on fire, and I was sweating. Ugh. He managed to fit in two comments about his new woman: "Last time I went to your place and you drove away, I understood why you did it. Maybe you thought I wasn't alone." BIG WHATEVER. And, "I'm so busy! They emailed me from work on Mother's Day and I had Mother's Day stuff to do!" With his mom being in CA, he of course was referring to the mother of the woman. He didn't even email my mom. another big whatever.
So he said he would be stopping by before tennis but just like the other day, he didn't. He'll probably stop by after tennis, late at night. I texted him and said I wasn't ready to see him and that maybe in the future. I asked him to not call me or knock at the door when he picks up the mail. I was nice and polite, but I really want nothing to do with someone who hurt me in such a way and who is such a toxic presence in my life. I've nearly forgiven him, but I also want to send him away--out of my life.
I've been writing non-stop. I'm in the process of getting an editor. I am excited about the possibility to help so many people...And this experience today helps me add more stuff to the book, about how when you think you have detached, you can still slip. But it's okay, because when you're on the path to self-actualization, you can get yourself back on that path as soon as you are ready.
