Having no contact must be harder in some ways and easier in some ways than trying to remain detached while living in the same house as your MLCer. Are you able to block him out of your mind? I find myself thinking about my H and about his Russian Tramp constantly. I bet I think about her more than he does!�
You are so right. I imagine that each situation - at home, nearby or (like mine) far away - all have their challenges and their blessings. No contact can be good as I do not always have to keep up my PMA or be "on" all of the time. I can see how that can be very exhausting. The downside is that I have no clue what is going on with him and while this can be an upside as well, in my case I have trouble controlling my imagination. My imagination always seems to picture him having a rollicking good time without me with his new GF and family. I also have no idea if they have moved in with each other - lots can happen in two months. The advantage to having them in the house is at least you can keep slightly better tabs on where they might be.
I wish I could say that I do not think of him every day, but I do. Usually, it's some odd thing that I see and think he would think so, too (we both have a really odd sense of humour). And I, like you, think of the GF/OW way too much. Despite the fact that what people say on this Board is quite true: the relationship between them is strange, it is just a band-aid and if it wasn't her, it would be someone else. Those thoughts I try actively to push out of my mind.
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Detachment is hard
No arguments there!
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I think you're right about your SO's relationship with his OW seeming stranger the more you detached you become. She sounds like she might be having a MLC too! Or maybe she's just a user, ensuring that she has a man to support her if her attempts to reconcile her marriage don't work out. Such a strange mindset!!
It is true and actually quite amazing that these relationships last as long as they do. In fact, they did (according to him) break up for a couple of months. What hurts is that they give us up or give up the chance to at least work with us for something so strange. The hardest thing to get my head around was that even if he broke up with her, that does not mean coming back to me.
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I'm glad you are using this time to get stronger and healthier and happier. Hang in there, and contact him when you feel ready!
Thank you! I am trying. I don't know if/when I will contact him. The truth is, I was hoping that he would contact me. Just a small sign that I still mean something to him. If not, well, I have other things to do
