After reading Kate's thread, I really started pondering what has been the greatest "shift" that has allowed me to find peace. I believe it is that I have no expecations. I don't do things with a "goal" or "outcome" in mind anymore.
When we get here we are so desparate to save our marriages. Not to change, not to find peace in this storm, TO GET THEM TO SEE, TO GET THEM NOT TO LEAVE!! I remember just being panicked that he was mean to me for an hour and would it be like this tomorrow...it must be fixed today! Now, I was able to have this conversation with H and not feel rushed to answer or ask when he will move back in, or anything. Time is a gift. Time gives you perspective. Time allows the truth to unfold. My truth. Time holds the answers, not my mind.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
