labug, why aren't I done? The only thing that's hitting the uncomfortable meter is that I have a little anger in my decision. I am clearly reacting to hurt and frustration and would like to clear away anger and bitterness in my heart. I was doing much better without trying to co-parent with H or involve H in any way our lives. These new attempts lead to expectations (hard not to expect something from co-parent!) and then obvious anger.
What was barfy about his toast? The fact that he has no credibility in his daughter's eyes or mine. Dds clearly don't respect him. I do not support this to dds, but I'm tired of making excuses for their dad and his behavior. I'm trying to be supportive in my rebuilding efforts but the lack of accountability is just building resentment.
H's mother is a piece of work but he just returned from a week long road trip with the woman. If he didn't come up with any better coping strategies than drinking, that's sad for him but I don't want it around my dds.
I think it's more likely a bad influence from his 'friends' that made it seem ok to stop for a drink before dinner. Either way, H is a big boy and doesn't understand the abandonment issues of his dds and how his behavior effects them. And when my kids hurt, forgetaboutit.
No, H did not announce 'text from ow!' to kids, I assume d18 noticed the called id on the phone display. Out of the blue last weekend, d18 "you know dad still has a girlfriend, don't you?" Me: "no, I don't know. He said it was done, I'm choosing to believe him". d18 "well he was texting her at dinner the other night". Me: "did you ask him about it or tell him it bothered you?" d18 "no I can't. He's just lying about it. I knew he was lying all along". Me: "It's your choice to believe him or not, I know it's difficult because there's been a lot of destroyed trust. But if it bothers you it is within your rights to ask him about it." Then I privately seethe... because I feel like I'm defending him again.
I do not want to be controlled by my feelings but between teens and H I'm feel like I'm getting bat around like a cat toy. I don't know how to be involved with H as co-parent while not letting it effect me . And it effects me negatively. I need a b!tch slap, 2x4, vacation, an escape... I know I'm not handling this well I'm stuck.
