DBing European Style, part 2

[Papa4Life]

So, as it says in my signature, we're working on the settlement agreement. I've been trying to communicate with my STBXW about the details, but telling the kids has left me shaken and I've been going out to get my mind off things.

As usual (alas) W's main focus has been on the two main negatives for me: i.e. my attending her family functions and my mom.

W has been telling the kids that, of course, I will attend birthdays and holidays with her family. But I told her that I do not feel comfortable doing that. I'd much rather focus on making a new life here, and tbh her family never demonstrated much interest in me. Which is fine, I'm just some foreigner who didn't share a lot of the same traditions and my accent is funny here and there. So I would rather just wish them well and get on with my own life.

I lovingly set that boundary, but W is having difficulty accepting it.

The issue with my mom is also rough. My mom has, through most of our M it seems, been harboring a degree of resentment against W for never wanting to talk to her when she calls. W says language was the issue, but as mom points out, language was also an issue for me with W's family.

I urge mom to forgive W, but it hurts her. W mentions calling my mom, but my mom has made it clear she has no interest. Seems like one more thing W will have to learn to live with.