Just want to remind you that we're all here for you! You have a lot support here and I don't want you to forget that. I want you to remember to be grateful for what you DO have!
I say this from what I hear other's say. When someone is toxic, stay away from them, limit your interactions. Don't allow him to interfere with your serenity!
Sending you many many many hugs!! Happy Belated Mother's Day!!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
This never stops. Just when i think i am doing well, he manages to get to me again.
Tonight XH messaged the kids on Facebook. He said that he was thinking of buying an apartment in the city and asked how many bedrooms he should get (i.e., will they come to stay with him).
The gall of the man. Apartments in our city are around the $600,000 - 1 mill mark. He doesn't even pay school fees or provide CS.
Last night I got a call from a debt collections agency for him, and another from his credit card bank who said they were having trouble finding him to discuss a personal banking matter (they have been ringing here for a week, and I know his cc is over-drawn).
I presume he is simply delusional about this apartment, but on the other hand, he may just be spending some stashed amount. OR "Miss Moneybags" as my XMIL calls OW, may be stumping up the money.
Within 5 mins of receiving the message, S14 and D17 were attacking each other viciously over who should use the bathroom first.
Hang in there NLW. This is all just crazy making. He is more than likely trying to impress the kids and "lure" them into spending more time with him. My H is constantly bribing the kids with toys, junk food and other garbage. I keep reminding myself that stuff will not take the place of a good parent's love.
Ignore him. I know it's easier said than done. But the more you try to ignore, the easier it will get. Plus remember the more you ignore, the more he will turn up the heat.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Let it go. (Easier said than done, right?) But the fb msg to the kids shouldn't interfere with your life. When you catch yourself harping on his st@pidity, think of something else. I tend to think about myself and what can I do to improve my peace of mind.
Take care!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
I'm still trying to keep to myself. Xh has been ringing occasionally to speak to the kids and has reported that his father is not doing well following the major surgery he had last week. Made it sound like he was not going to survive.
I've been speaking to MIL about it and she gives a much more positive version.
Friendly neighbour helped me and S14 fix our broken back fence on the weekend. I'm constantly amazed at the kindness of others.
Kids and i have been on the go. Life is full - and yet still feels empty. I assume we'll get there with the passage of time.
Tonight I went to S14's school for a cocktail evening.
When I went to get my name tag at the entrance table, I noticed that XH had one waiting to be collected. I panicked, briefly.
It was a small room and all of the parents we've known for the last 10 yrs would be there - and it would be the first time XH and i would have been at a school function together since he left and has been flaunting OW.
I was a bit non-plussed, too. Yesterday, XH had rung S14 to say that he was interstate on business and would not be back till Saturday (tomorrow).
Thought I would be safe going to the cocktail do with him out of state.
But no.... His lips were moving and he was lying.
Anyway, he showed up about 30 mins late and ran straight over to the corner of the room, avoiding all the parents we know. I was standing in the centre of the room talking to a group. He was wearing jeans and a jumper. Everyone else present was in cocktail attire - all the men were in suits.
XH stayed put in his peripheral spot and ended up talking to a very unprepossessing looking woman whom I did not recognise. They looked like they had wandered into the wrong function.
After about an hour and well before the event was scheduled to end, XH came up to me and touched me on the arm. he said "Hi, I'm going to go". I said "Hi" and resumed my conversation with the group of parents, none of whom spoke to him (it was awkward). After a minute he said "bye" and walked out.
On his way out he rang D17 who was at home. She didn't answer.
I was peeved that he dared to show up to an event like this where the headmaster was doing the rounds to talk to all parents when XH owes $17,500 in unpaid school fees. I mean.. can you imagine having the hide to show up and take their free wine?
But I didn't freak. I just ignored him. And it wasn't really even hard.
