Affair forecast:stormy with a chance of a break-up

[Takevowsserious]

Thanks kml, I will look into the info you gave me.

rH ~ I think eventually they have to face what they have done, or they stay stuck. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting an apology anytime soon! But if we are to R in the future, I am going to expect one. He blew a hole in our M, our family, my heart. He is not going to just waltz back into our life one day like he didn't. No no no.

This is the post from HB that has had me thinking lately:

"Accountability is pointing out bad behavior and letting them know it was UNACCEPTABLE to you, that it was/is not okay what they did although you can and will forgive for it. Now, it leaves room for a set of consequences to occur IF the behavior occurs again - setting boundaries at that time.

Being judgemental, on the other hand, is holding the 'holier than thou' attitude, being unforgiving, always holding what they did over their head, along with the attitude of 'I would never do that, and I'm better than you because I didn't. There is something wrong with you, nothing wrong with ME.' "

I think some good stuff to think about...

Feeling kinda blah tonight. Have been busy/overwhelmed at work, and then things just as busy at home. I'm tired.

Checked bank account, and saw that between may 10-17, H took out $340. It's pissing me off.

I feel like we have had the money discussion before, and I need to tread lightly here. No doubt OW is putting pressure on him to spend - I'm sure he told her about our fight months ago, and feel like she is looking to set me off any way she can. Just keeping tabs on things right now, not saying anything...

He calls me tonight a little after 9:00 to say that he is on his way home from golf, he didn't want me to worry that he was a bit later than usual.

Interesting story pertaining to them remembering what we say/do...
Last summer when he was at the height of alien behavior, he left for golf sometime in the early afternoon, and came home at 3:00 am! Yet, he was completely baffled by why I wondered where he was. And I told him, you've never been this late before, and I was worried about you.

Over the past few months, he has called to let me know if he'll be late so - in his words - "you don't worry about me".

I don't know, I just find it interesting what they pick up on and remember.

Anyway, when he gets home, he says the guys were talking about the golf beach trip again. It would be for 5 days at the end of June, and cost around $2000.

Now, if I knew without a doubt that this was a golf trip, I wouldn't care. But because I believe he's sneaking away with twinkle twat, I feel my hurt and anger rising up once again.

Yeah yeah, I know, he's gotta get it out of his system, A gotta die a natural death, blah blah blah...

I get it. I'm just hurt.

I think I handled it well though, and said I just wanted to make sure the boys got to the beach one way or another.

My patience is really being tested with this.

Going to bed with a heavy heart. Busy day at work tomorrow, going to try to get some sleep.

Good night