Crazy little thing called MLC

[GatorGirl]

Raine,
Wish I could give you a huge hug right now. You have an amazing amount of strength and fortitude. Being a single parent alone is a huge job, much less trying to sort of parent your H.

I wish I had some fantastic words of advice for you about your H. You are doing a great job detaching and playing by all the MLC rules. If you get to the point when you're done, you'll know it. I feel like I practically woke up one morning and said, "I deserve better than this. I deserve more. I didn't break him; I can't fix him. I have to let him go." And that was it for me. I was done. I admire your ability to stand and 'Be Still' as the song goes.

My head spins at the person my H has become. His BFF's family has become more important than his own, perhaps with the exception of his children. I think the rest of his family is beginning to realize this but they are afraid to say anything. Truthfully, I expect H to move in a few years and detach himself from the kids. They will be a little older and will 'understand' a little better. I think he will still be unhappy even after the divorce and he will think it's because of where he's living, so he'll find another job out of town and will move. And I suspect he will still be unhappy. Funny how it all works, isn't it?

As for me, if it all falls into place how we've planned it, our divorce will be final sometime in July (hopefully in time for my mid-July birthday). I hate to say it but I'm looking forward to having a new start. My H is not remotely the sweet man I married. He's addicted to alcohol and won't admit it and is co-dependent on his BFF's family. He's been chronically depressed since I met him; meds don't help when you drink alcohol while you take them. I hope he doesn't go spiraling down to rock bottom but who knows.

You're amazing, Raine. Every time I read and catch up, I'm just taken aback by your strength.

Peace,
GG