It is possibly a justification, that even though he may have had OW in his sights before BD, no one has any "proof" that they were together or a possible item. He can then let the world know that he did not do anything wrong.
Much of the script is similar and one thing that people key on is "confusion" to label MLC. Don't doubt though, that your H is confused. He probably thinks that he tried to work on the M and that there was nothing good about the M. He probably doesn't think he's having an A, even though the two of you are still M. According to him, the M was over long ago... yet... he failed to send you that memo, long ago...
As far as why he's reminding you over and over that he was planning on leaving because the M was over and this has nothing to do with OW... well, he's probably feeling hurt and vulnerable and so to protect himself, he's lashing out at you. He may not want to hurt you... then again... maybe he does...
What you may find though, is that the work you do on yourself will have more immediate and consistent results than if your H were MLC.
So if you believe your H is WAS, what work are you doing to become an even more awesome woman, that only a fool would leave?
