Continuing The Positive Changes

[MrBond]

"Bond do you mind giving me some examples on what you did to detach and remove yourself from the crazy train"

The biggest thing was I learned that it wasn't all about me despite what my W would say. I changed, did 180s, etc. and kept them consistent.

My W isn't a talker, so this situation just made that lack of communication even worse. So I learned how communicate with her in different ways to see what would work. I looked at our relationship as if it were a blank slate. I asked her questions that required more than a 'yes' or 'no', to start a conversation. I learned how to read body language so that when I saw there was something she was uncomfortable with, I could steer around it.

When she would rant about things I KNOW wasn't true, I looked at her like a crazy person and pitied her rather than engage with her. It allowed me to not take things personally. While I was distancing, I left the door open by talking to her and asking how her day was without expecting that she would do the same.

When an occassion called for it, I called her out on some of the things she was saying that was untrue, and then walked away.

I think many of these things I recommended to you as well, but doing them consistently is the important thing.