As if the separation from wife wasn't enough a problem employee decided they should drop a "Harassment" complaint on me for HR to investigate. If you consistently stick your middle finger up at rules and policies you should never get disciplined I guess????
I refuse to be "neutered". Its just a different distraction/sideshow I didnt want to deal with......Oh well
W was at the house Wed,thur, fri nites and through sat 4pm. I stayed away so that I "wouldnt distract her time with D3".
Sunday Morning D3 wakes up VERY sad. She had her first nightmare/ bad dream. D3 crawled into my bed with tears streaming and asked "Momma is coming back? Momma will come back so we can play toys........right Daddy?"
I told her that yes Momma will be back and Mommy and I both love you soooooooooooooooooo much. I then told her Mommy would be back on Wed and we practiced days of the week together and I got out a calendar and we will now countdown the days together - in pink.
I realized then That I needed to "go big". I told her that we were going on a special trip. I told her that she needed to get dressed and wear her baseball hat and baseball shirt - We were going to see a baseball game!!!
Her eyes lit up as she told me that her baseball shirt has numbers on it and her hat is pink. I told her "Well you better put them on and surprise Daddy!"
D3 is hyper excited at that point so I go and order tickets (we live within long driving distance of two separate minor league ballparks and they pretty much are opposite home schedules)I was lucky (or fate) There were TWO tickets available in the second row to this mostly filled game.
D3 had a BLAST
and she made it past "god bless America". (7th inning stretch)
I realize that im really taking D3's increased awareness of her mothers absence personally. Im blaming myself and feeling like I already have failed my daughter and condemned her to a life of anxiety, depression and the feeling of being unloved......
Logic tells me I do not own this- The pain is purely emotional.
Love you all and thanks for reading!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
