I have thought back at how we were together in the last few years. Its pretty sad, we didnt put the time in to make the marriage work. I am responsible for my actions and words during that time. I own it. My W can own hers if she wants to but she is not at the moment and doesnt look like she will.
I have DB hard the last 3 months...it know its not long, but i have seen the exact opposite reaction with my W. Instead of things getting better, they have gotten worse.
I have been patient, respectful, considerate and i have listened to her whenever she wanted to talk. But the more the days go by, the less she wants to talk, the more she plans the next moves without me.
I have become the father that i wanted to be, but the better father i become the more she cuts me off from her.
I have looked after myself, read some amazing books, somehow found a way to bring happiness, kindness and love into my life and started really living with PMA. It has been amazing the shift that I have felt inside and seen with the people around me. But it has made my W even more distant.
AS the days go by she wants less and less to do with me. I accept that now. Our marriage is dead.
I dont see how we can resume a R again. I dont recognise the person she has become. Its not who i want to be with, so cold and so retrieved. I dont love that person anymore.
Today i give up on the hope that things could change. I no longer believe it anymore.
Sorry to let you all down, but its time i faced the facts and started accepting it so that I CAN continue the work I am doing on myself so that I can continue to find happiness within myself once more. I know the big mantra for DB is PATIENCE...i cant do this anymore. I just want to get on with my life.
Me - 37 W - 37 M -5 T - 15
S=5 S=3
Seperated - 12/12 BD - 20/03/13 Still seperated - no R or M talk yet.
