Divorced-not done-But wondering ?

[JJAC2005]

My dilemma seems to almost always play out the same way….each and every time I begin to think about it.
Its almost like a bad version of “Groundhogs Day” where I cant get the ending to come out the way it was intended.
I start thinking in terms of explaining everything that happened, good bad and otherwise, and the events that tripped each of our reactions and behaviors.
Of course the explanation is clear to me, my family, my friends, and anyone that gets even a little taste of my relationship dynamic….and even though it is clear that I may have done a few stupid things, reacted on various times with a bit too much emotion or passion, it is clear that I was (and am still ) truly in love with my wife.
I am often getting the same type of reaction from other married and divorced people that my crimes were not all that bad, and that there are many of those among us that have done so much worse, and survived so more, to make it back to a very happy and loving marriage.
I am starting to think I am stuck…really stuck on letting things go….thinking that if I let them go completely, they will be lost of any future possibilities for a second chance.
I get back on the horse, trying to detach, yet only seem to be able to get so far into that role, before allowing some memory to tug me back into that place of missing my family and getting so freaking angry that things played out the way that they did.
Plus when I add in the fact that my ex has moved on into another relationship, it just puts me into a place of…why waste my time?

Of course I have some really good days, but man have I been hit with a flood of negativity on my goal of reconciliation….does anyone have any advice?