Letting Go & Moving Forward 2

[littleGTO]

RUBY! LOL!!!

Good weekend, overall, I think.

FIL came to see S's games & he & I got to talk a lot during S9's game as H coaches. However, H was standing nearby listening in on some of our convo.

I invited FIL to my party next weekend. He is pondering coming. When I asked him I could see H visually tense up. H later asked why I invited FIL w/o first consulting w him. WTF? I didn't really know how to respond.

H's concern is that he is really torn about whether or not he should come to the party. I told him not to stress about it, that he is welcome to come but not to worry if he chooses not to.

I actually am a little amused at his squirming about this decision. (Feels like my choice at having this party is affecting him....hmmmmmmmmmm...table's turned?)

Anyway, went to S9's soccer game today & H came. He said he wasn't going to come to the house today as he knew that I needed my space from him sometimes. (Very interesting that he is respecting the boundary I set 2 weeks ago for the first time -- no visiting house on weekends.)

He did come to the house yesterday to help get our boat ready for the season.

Okay, the boat. He said in a recent conversation that he assumed we would "share" the boat this summer--both take it out at different times with the boys.

This requires him to drop it in for me AND come get me to trailor out. He said he's willing to do this. I don't like being dependant on him.

Here's my angst...I do NOT want OW to be on OUR boat! EVER. I'd rather sell the boat. It will be tainted for me.

I know this is an immature, jealousy-based reaction, but how do I approach this w H. I am very serious that she NOT be allowed on the boat.

Now I am pretty sure he wouldn't take boys and her out (as he has agreed not to have her around boys at all right now), but I am not sure he wouldn't just go out on boat w her alone. I don't trust him.

BUt, I do want to know if he does or intends to, as I will have to talk to him about my feelings about this.

I know this isn't good DBING...I shouldn't care, detach. But, the boat was SPECIAL to us as a family. It was forced family time--all 5 of us for good or bad. But, it was also relaxation, fun water sports, a day of sun and swimming...all those things will NOT be if I know she's been on the boat.

I'm sorry to feel so strongly about it, but I just do. HELP!
What to do/ not do???