Snodderly~ I'm sure OW had a bug up her butt about this weekend - we had relatives visiting from out of town and S5's program, and he chose to be home all weekend.
And the guilt? Seems to be getting worse based on physical manifestations. He's sleeping worse than ever, itchy, and is having stomach problems. Stepping out of the way, and letting OW put the pressure on him.
Just seeing him be comfortable at home and with the boys is motivation for me. I am hoping that in time, his feelings for me will resurface. I still believe it is possible.
We did take pictures and video of the program. I think the video is probably pretty funny - I was holding S2 and working the video camera, and he was making comments and attempting to sing along throughout. I will definitely look back fondly at that evening
rH ~ I feel like he is slowly melting - and when I say slowly, I think your ice cube/iceberg analogy is perfect!
I'm trying to keep my emotions in check, it is hard at times. It helps me to remind myself to look at the big picture instead of a single action or day or even cycle.
FY ~ if our MLCers decide to stay, I totally agree with you, giving them space and freedom is absolutely imperative. Seems some want a divorce just to get those things - but if we can give it to them, with love, I think it makes a world of difference.
My H has told me that I have done what he has asked (give him space) and he appreciates it.
The tough part is this damn limbo, which seems to go on and on and on. It can be completely draining, mentally and emotionally.
They say we will know, without a doubt, when we are done. I know I'm not done yet - and I don't think you are either
T^2 ~ it's almost like a catch-22 cycle they get stuck in... They feel guilty about what they are doing to us/their family, so they run to replay stuff, which after the initial high brings even more feelings of guilt and shame...
I think when we begin to find happiness within ourselves it does help, but only they can choose to break the cycle. And that sounds like a hard thing to do.
I'm guessing that they get to a point where they think, "What have I done? What was I thinking? How do I clean up this mess? Can I clean up this mess?"
Don't think H is there quite yet, but it seems your wife has faced this. Maybe she just has to build up the strength to really face it head on.
Sometime soon I will post something from HB about the difference between judging and letting them know what they have done was not acceptable. It was really eye opening for me, and I thought of you and your sitch when I read it. Dealing with an OP is such tough stuff...
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Nothing much to report. H came up to bed around 4:00 am, asked me to scratch his back, then fell asleep.
He had mentioned yesterday that he may go golfing then out with a buddy to watch the hockey game today. He ended up not going anywhere. This happened a day this past week as well. I don't say anything, just roll with it...
Took S5 to a kids yoga class today, it was a lot of fun! Made awesome kabobs for dinner. Meeting a friend and her kids for a picnic after work tomorrow.
Sitting quietly, but staying busy. Hope everyone had a nice weekend
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
