I have no choice but to at this point to move in with my dad as i can not find a rental to take a dog. I just feel like it is all over done for me. I hae my life and dont want to do a drarn thing.

I did last year go to yoga and it helped alot i think just to pass time but now i have no motivation to do this anymore. I want to but what is the point.

I did meditation as well but the past year or so I cant even get my head to stop spinning. I have just started going back to theropy but sometimes i think she places her own opinion on me. then i do DB coach and get a 2nd way to go. so my head is spinning.

I need to just have this all stop i know if i ever have chance at getting WAW back i need to get better myself. so maybe the reason she is not talking is that God feels im not ready much less her. Just feel like she is having a good time and here i am so messed up that not i just feel like ending it all. I think moving home mean i have nothing to realy call mine. yeah i can save money but will that make me happy NO. i was so much better last year..... why now am i so BAD now. One thing is i was always on cymbulta for pain. but dr allso gave me xenex too. but some time i feel like these make mee fee even worse. so again whats the point.
I really just want my WAW back and I have not seen any hope in that area for a long time and well i dont want to give up I know God can change her but when. the longer the time away the harder it gets to return is what i think.

But yet here i am helping her pay the car and then she goes away. can you say used. but i always say treat others how you would want to be treated. i have always helped others. well why is it now working for me i know i get help here. but why cant WAW even say thanks or when she does thats all she said TY! all i get. this thanks time i said alot of very good things in my text about her and the first time in a long time she said TY! right back atcha small but more than i have got in a long time.

But who knows still does not tell me what she want but all i can think of is what her mom told me one time . she said WAW did ask me for divorce 2nd when i asked if i ever had a chance for her to come back she said NO i dont think she will come back. so all this but the main thing is moving i think. but who knows i just know moving home is not a good thing for me as far as i can see. unhealthy. I mean my dad would talk to me yesterday when i was setting up tank and i was just like i cant take this. he is happy for me o be around but i just cant do this. just feel like i cant do life. everything i do and want to do is something i want to share with my wife. but i know i can not. pain lonely just feel like this is it im done no one would care