well an other day and trust trying to get past any thoughts of WAW. Does anyone here just thing I am obsessed with her. I just do still love her. But my therapist is saying that you are not in love with the WAW you married. She is gone but is that really try. I mean the therapist herself said she was separated for 5 years Husband came back. But they have talked all the time.
Only diff here is my WAW has not really talking to me like she just does not care. so what to i do. I and trying to move one day a time and just get by. im trying to focuse on finding a place to live but have the mood of I just do not care anymore.
Should I be worried that im in a bad bad case of depression. moving home with dad i feel will make me even more depressed. I have been told i look good but I have lost lots of weight. Well that could be that I have not really eaten anything for weeks. just a slice of pizza. I go to work to try to get my head out of this and can not. There is no one there anymore. with IBM and all the layoffs my location is a ghost time. there are many days I may say 5 words all day long. all i can think of i wish i was comming home to my wife and be going to dinner and giving her daily massages. sticking little i love you nots in her lunch box and pockets all thos things she enjoied. i think that some place we got very complacent from the car accident i had and we stopped alot of that. I am just stuck on that. I am sure she is stuck on all the bad stuff. so how can one purson get them to change. I also feel that moving totlay out od the area that is what i have to do is not good as i will loss contack with the ones i met over here and that is going to hurt more.
yes i will admitt this today i really do just feel like my life is over. if i was gone who the hell would care. every one says moving home with dad is a good thing, but you have to understad that is a very dark depressing place that smells bad and i cant do this now. I know my dad will love it and i can save lots of cash but what good it that if i can not be happy.
can one person take all this negitive in there like. I cant deal with being home. i do not like it but i have no place to go. I mean i can still take the place the WAW friends house. but do i want to no. gut says no and then WAW will know where I am just like now but i just feel that i need to find a place that no one has any idea where it is. I feel so much like the victom an hhow do i change this. I just want it all back soo howlong can i take this. Yesh i am vayudepredd. Keep thiking wife has a much beete lif ndf
