My partner left the house two weeks ago and we have had little contact other than about the children. Last week she emailed to say she had a draft agreement from the advocates for the finance and also the custody arrangements. She asked what I proposed to do on the pension. I asked what she proposed and asked to see the draft agreements, she replied she wanted to complete them before sending to me. I sent her my proposal by email on what the split should be.
I set out how I think the pension should be split, I know she will not agree and feels it is unfair. This morning she asked if we could get together to discuss the agreements and we agreed to meet next week one evening. She called an hour later to say she had seen my email and did not think it was fair and equitable. I held my ground on my views but remained detached and did not get emotional during the discussion. I listened to her view and validated it without agreeing and remaining in the boundaries I have set.
I was surprised she called as it is her first morning with the children since Friday so why would she check her emails then. I also could hear she was angry and said I did not think we should talk about it when the children could hear, I could hear them in the background.
Have I understood detachment better, I am not holding onto the rope. She has moved to want to have the legal agreements drafted and I am giving my view which will be what In my view is in my best interests and the children's.
RW
Me 44 WAS 41 T 11 S 8 D 5 DB November 2012 EA and PA discovered December 2012 WAS moved out 4 May 2013 Share residence of S and D 50/50 WAS moves in with OM 1 September 2013.
