Hi, I'd don't know if I'm happy for me. It's hard, but in one hand it's good I guess like Portia said, now if he keeps going like this, I, get to decide my life with or without him. On the other hand the distrust that comes with this brings up a lot of old wounds, recall, and even justiable anger. Hearing the words doesn't repair the R, it just unmasks what was always there for that moment. He could have reburied it 1000ft under by now.
I have been studying when a spouse falls out of L, me, what that means and if it can be relearned. Yea, relearned! It's teaching is that M is work and there no magic pill, only a handful of people have that "meant to be" love. Well I don't except that because I prayed on my M and felt it was God lead, so I pray on this junk and put it in his hands. I have prayed and gotten the answer I don't want to hear, but not about marrying my H.
I once prayed for guidance on buying a house that I ignored all day before the walk through, would you believe on the way to the house I ran over killing a possum, broke the camera for the walk through photos and just as I (continuing to drive there) got one block away drove into a ditch deep with snow! A guy tried to help me and his car, went into the ditch as well! I made it, singed off on the property (in pure rebellion) and two weeks later the company, of 15yrs, went bankrupt, and I went into emergency back surgery!
But, my M went smooth! The R was as if we were puzzle pieces that fit just right! So now what, nothing, wait, trust the process, have faith! I can't remember the old guy anymore, there has to be an emerging of a new, better guy for any of this to work. I keep saying to myself, we teach people how they can treat us, so demand respect!
Happy gardening!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
