Bea, I'm only 18 months into my situation, but it seems very similar to yours. My H is angry, blames me, severely damaged his R with the boys, is unfair and nasty in the D, etc. Reading about your current developments underscores for me that I need to stick to my need for no contact now or in the future. If my H were to seek counseling and figure himself out than I would be willing to start communicating again. Your XH still doesn't grasp the damage caused by his choices. He still needs to be angry with you so that he doesn't feel the pain of reality. Any relationship you and your kids have with him will be on his terms. He is still not ready to "hear" anyone else in the family. That's amazing after so much time. I'm so sorry.
