Trying to stay in it, keeps getting harder. #3

[in_it]

Thank you all for your responses. They are encouraging.

uRworthy-I've been been trying to get there, letting him go, for a while. Some days I think I'm there & others not so much. I believe fear is holding me back. I do think I'm ready. I just really don't want to be the one to tell him to leave. I want him to do that on his own. Knowing his state of mind now & the things he has said to me I feel that if I tell him to leave it will push him over the edge. I don't know why, but I love him. I still want this to work. I've tried so hard to get to that place of not needing him or loving him & I just can't. It sounds sick, I know. So as long as I can handle it the way I am now I guess that's the path I'll continue.

bug-I appreciate your concern so much. It really makes me think. I think I am going to tell him on Monday. I have a dr appt that day. It may be cowardly of me, but I think I might just call him & tell him over the phone. My parents are coming to town Monday evening & will probably be home before I am after work. That way I won't be home alone with him for a few days after I tell him it's twins. Thoughts?