Bea, I am sorry that he just doesn't get it, but he's waking up and it's going to continue until both of his feet hit the ground and stay there. Bea, I do understand what you are going through. It just blows you away each and every time he contacts you after being such an nasty person years ago and the excuses he uses to contact you.
He really is trying to smooth things over in a big way by inviting everyone over for a meal when his brother is in town. I'm like you, why would you even want to participate in this circus? I understand totally how your kids feel and I do not blame them. Yes, it's okay to be civil because he is there father, but that's doesn't mean they have to sit down and eat at this circus.
Your xh is just on the crazy plane and doesn't know how to reconnect properly. As for the OW2...well, she's just as crazy if she thinks the family will welcome her w/open arms at dinner party such as this.
BTW, he really does want your approval for the things he's doing in his own crazy way. I think he's hoping that one day you'll get tired of his nonsense and open the door to him to step in and hopefully shove everything under the rug and all will be right w/the world. Yes, it's crazy thinking, but that's the way they think until they are back on planet Earth.
Bea, chalk his idea up to another one from the great world beyond.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
