Oh, it's not like he doesn't spew, it's just hasn't been directed at me for a while now. He been slowly integrating himself, I would have to look back at my post, but he started some time after the holiday's.
He's been like a quiet mouse laying in wait for some time now listening, talking, laughing, trying to "fit in". I was/am convinced he was bringing MLC guy w him.
Funny, as he started peeking I started letting go! The more I let go, the more his peeking became small spurts of involvement. I think it was just timing, my need to be done, his need to peek.
So I'm good, uninvolved w/his life, not seeking attention, and here he is!
Quote:
I know from experience that "the words" mean absolutely nothing without actions to follow them up.
This evening while having B-day dinner w/kids H calls me 5 min after a text, which I hadn't read yet, to ask if I read it, I said I am having dinner do you want me to read it now, he said, no wait until after this call.
He spoke about work for a few min and then said H-bday again, he seemed like there was more, but he ended the call in a nice voice I haven't heard in a long time.
Text: ''Happy Birthday Sweetheart, I love you, alot". He hasn't said that to me in over 2yrs. Granted he's not actually "saying it", but it's a big step for him.
D19 said to reply, your too weird...who are you, but I went with, thanks, that was very nice to hear.
I am not going to change the direction I have headed in, nor am I going to expect or want anything from this. Hell, this might just be the perfect calm before the storm. I will not let this spin me around.
I will admit for a moment there, his text, as I read it, filled me with anxiety and laughter, but it was more about a memory of the past, than hopes for a future.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
