Of course you don't have to leave. And the reason you are being blindsided is because you are still holding expectations. Time to let those go.

So, if she brings up D my favourite is " this is not what I want, but if it is what you need to do I will not stand in your way". Now this doesn't mean you lie down and give over your assets, you are just giving the power back to her.

If she suggests you moving out, you can calmly bring up the co ownership and suggest you both sell the house or she buy you out. As a disabled vet ( thank you smile. ). Alimony would be on your side until you were on your feet. So to speak.

Do not necessarily bring these up, but do t roll over. You may be eligible for legal aid as well. My lawyer is a ball breaker ( sorry guys) and does pro bono for LA. :)).