and so to continue with our day, h got further irate with me when he felt that I was trying to take the rest of the day off, when he felt that the day was far from ending for him.
He didn't see it as me offering to help. Then we got into the money again and he got pissed off that I "again" didn't bring the petty cash that he needed to pay off some people. His voice escalated and then mine did too. I quickly said that if he is going to yell at me then I was leaving and he could call me when he could speak better. I then threw our business keys onto the ground and began to pull away. I stopped and thought this isn't how I want this to go. So grabbed the keys and walked to his car. He continued to yell for throwing the keys. I said that he wasn't seeing my point. He was now getting more mad and was in a hurry. I said I would get him the petty cash & meet him back at the house. We then parted.
I called on the phone to validate that he is having a meltdown and I was getting in his way. He corrected me and said not a melt down, that he was overwhelmed. I then texted him "I don't mean to get in your way. Im only trying to help. It doesn't come across as that, and it seems to bother you more" He didn't reply.
When I got back to the house with the petty cash. I tried to explain that he just takes the money & doesn't explain it. (meaning I was wanting to discuss how it was being spent) Again, he was in a hurry. Didn't say much. I said that I am trying to help and wanted to be outside or helping with driving, etc. He said then go to the lot (his) and do something there. So ... I did.
IF/when he texts back to "appreciate" what I did (manual weeding), I will text back to say "I understand you are overwhelmed, I am just helping"
Was doing this OK?.. helping? or is it letting him feel he can be mean/yell & then I jump to please (which is what I am used to doing).
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)