having been through what we've all been through with ows/oms and now trying to piece and rebuild trust how would you feel if your spouse did not have a regular work schedule therefore you don't know what time they will leave for work or arive home and you don't really know what it is they are doing when they go to work as it's their off season (yet they seem to find reason to go in each day) then one evening after they've been home for several hours, eaten dinner, played with kids, put kids to bed etc a book of matches from a resteruant falls out of their pocket.
mind you they didn't call you all day (well with the exeption of when you knocked them off the internet by logging onto the same account from home) when they typically do at least call to let you know they are on their way home.
stopped for something to eat on the way home? huh? not enough food here? not bother to call and say hey I'm stopping here to get something to eat would you like me to bring home anything for you and/or the kids? never mind the fact that I freely take advantage of my freedom and stop wherever whenever I want throughout the day while you are bound to the kids and can't even get to the hospital for a blood test you've been needing for over a month. Don't take it to mean anything that I didn't bother to let you know what I was up to and decided to not tell you anything about my day and ignore the fact that I got all defensive when you asked why I had matches from a resteraunt in my pocket it all means nothing.
LL annoyed?
yup.
LL annoyed at the fact that h stopped to eat at a resteraunt by himself on the way home from work?
not really, more annoyed by the lack of phone calls, the lack of saying hey I stopped at unos on the way home, the lack of respect for my lack of independance and freedom, the lack of understanding how to build trust by not leaving out details of ones day.
LL even more annoyed that she went to bed early last night without reading (as the results of the discussion did not lend to a reading mood) with h saying nothing and comming to bed an hour later to then have h say nothing to her at all in the morning in fact stay silent til it was time to ask "have you seen my hat" and then to kiss me on the forehead and say bye.
