Thanks KAW and Andy for your attempts to comfort me...Andy I sure as hell wish there was some majuc wand or crystal ball to put this question to rest.
Sue,
H has been home over a year...when he first came home there were confessions..confessions of the friendship being more than just an aquantance, of it being wrong, of lies that were told of feelings that were had etc but there was absolute denial of it ever reaching that point...what am I suppose to do with that?
livenlearn,
a good question you raise and one that I ask often thus leading to the dilema.
let me try to answer it as if h IS telling the truth.
let's imagine the friendship was kept secret all along...starts out as a simple innocent friendship but for whatever reasons is not shared, it graduates to more of a close friend but still is not shared then poof they are seen together and the friendship has to be shared and of course I doubt it being just a friendship and ask or rather demand that it end...it doesn't and in demanding that it end they realize or think that they have the potential for something more than mere friendship but don't know what to do with it. H doesn't want to share the thoughts with me and can't continue to lie so leaves to sort out his feelings and with all my pressure comes to believe that he does have romantic feelings for ow eventually she decides she wants to take that chance too and leaves her h (mind you her h knew of their friendship though I don't know if he knew how much time spent together) and shortly after she decides to take that chance poof my h isn't so sure he wants to leave me.
Is it not possible then that they had nothing more than an ea (if that isn't bad enough) an with it's discovery were pushed to think differently of it were tempted to act upon those illusionary feelings but when faced with the honest opportunity to act upon them (my h having already left and her letting her h know she wanted out) the (or at least he) just couldn't do it?
You've all heard me complain about h's low libido, this is not a new problem, he was that way long before he ever met ow so it is possible for h to have a relationship even love someone and not have it be physical.
of course there is also the possibility that he was meeting up with her at her house during the daycare kids nap time and screwing her in her h's bed but somehow I just don't fully believe that.
thing is I don't fully believe either way and know that eventualy I have to make a choice what to believe or this m will never survive.
