I just took a scan of your thread, and the way I see your dilemma is this: Things are great on the surface, but you’re afraid that as soon as you get comfortable with that, BANG! You’ll find out it was all a lie. You don’t want to be hurt.
People are telling you that you have a choice: Believe your H and be happy, or don’t believe him and fret. Yup, it’s a simple choice, but it’s not an easy one.
I’d forget about all that statistical stuff. It doesn’t mean a thing. Just numbers. Your H isn’t a number. He’s a person.
You said you’re afraid that if you believe your H, you might be believing a lie. It doesn’t matter, LL. Truth isn’t absolute. It changes all the time. The world was once flat. It was in all of the textbooks. Now it’s round. Look it up. I’m not lying!
Nobody can prove a negative proposition. To take KAW’s analogy, you’ll never be able to prove or disprove the existence of a PA. Even if your H were to confess, history is full of false confessions. Ya just never know.
Your threads are full of positive affirmations about how great your M and your H have become. That’s great, LL, but somehow you gotta start believing.
Once again, I say “somehow.” Like I said, it’s a simple choice in theory, but not an easy one to implement. If you had a magic wand that you could wave…
**poof**
Your feelings would change. You’d trust your H, and all of the emotional baggage would be gone forever.
There’s no magic wand, LL. All there is, is your will to take out the trash.
