Did I say that I was told she may be a lesbian or trying things out?
So what good it all this if she is doing that?
I was doing looking into the S D as a way to protect myself and this was told to me by my therapist. I was also told to close the joint account but did not do that. in my gut i think it will send the wrong message but I have to keep putting cash in it from time to time for fees. I dont care if i do have to put cash in it. It is just im so messed up.
So many others tell me look she is not going to come back But I feel God can heal hearts and i honour my marriage Vows. Some say Im crazy and obsessed with her. so it is hard to deal with all this.
I think at this point again I may have misdirected feelings and confusion as i have to be out of this house on the 31st but still to this day have nothing at all. I can go to live with dad but it is so negitive there and I do not know if it would be good for me. I am just trying to lean on God but I feel I am not getting any signs from him. I may be but im not seeing them but should i not have found a place already and it is not like i have not looked. I also have a Job in flux and a sick dog. Mom in nursing home Power of att for my dad so i deal with that.
I just need my own place. it is also hard letting go of 6,000 just to walk in door of new rental. that's what it cost around here. So yes i am stressed. I don't want to take any more meds Im on so many already.
Just really hate my life at this point and I should be enjoying it. I keep asking myself Hmmmm i wander if my WAW is having a hard time at all?
