Going In Circles

[shouldistillhope]

Hey everyone,

I am here just needing some advice/help pretty badly. I will start from the beginning as much as i can and keep filling in from there. I am lost. I am 41 yrs. old and have been married to my wife just short of 9 years. We have 2 sons ages 7 and 4. My wife made all my dreams come true when we met and married each other. We were truly best friends. I dont think my situation is much differnt than a lot of others here but i am so very confused as to what to think so here goes: It all started just after christmas. We never really fought or argued much but for some reason my wife was very cold and distant after one particular disagreement. I finally told her i felt like i was living with a roomate and that is when she told me how she has been unhappy for the last year. I asked her if she loved me and she replied "yes" i then asked her if she was in love with me and she replied "i dont know" I asked her if ther was someone else and her reply was "absolutely not" I then asked if she wanted a divorce and she said "i am not to that point yet."

But she had been unhappy for almost a year and she asked her doctor if love was something she could get back and he told her "its possible, but it is very hard to do." I told her i had no idea how unhappy she was and i wished she had told me sooner.

The next day when she came home i was sitting alone and told her maybe it was best if i moved out so she could get a handle on things and she said i didnt have to do that and besides, she didnt want the kids going through life being reminded that daddy left over the holidays.

So she started counseling on her own for awhile and after about 2 or 3 ic sessions for her i asked her if we should try marriage counseling and she agreed. We went to M/C 2 times after which she told me she was done. My heart broke into a million pieces and i made all the classic mistakes like begging for another chance and pleading to go to counseling just one more time. She said we can try but she is not willing to put a time frame on anything cause she still had no feelings for me. We went to M/C one more time after which she said again she was done and as of last week, she filed for divorce.