Check out time.

[MrBond]

"The way I look at it is to give up hope."

You don't need to give up hope. You just need to give up EXPECTATIONS.

"Live my life, accept my faults in the M continue to work on them for my next R whether it be someone else or my W. It's still in my mind DB to a point."

Yes.

"But at the same time I'm not going to continue to pass up opportunity s to enjoy time with OW in the fear that it will make my W mad."

You don't need OW to "make you" happy. YOu need to be happy on your own first. If you go into a relationship now, you are going to be bringing all of your insecurities along with you.

"And your right I was resentful that she never accepted her part and that's because she didn't need to. I begged pleaded manipulated her with words to get her to always come back. So there was never a reason for her to accept anything."

No. You're resentful because you never forgave her. True forgiveness is letting go AND not expecting anything back from the other person.

"Feedback is appreciated. I know that this is a forum to save marriages, but I think this is the best way to detach for me personally."

What you describe isn't "detaching". It's like a child who isn't able to get what they want. You haven't reached the mature definition of detaching. You still want her to apologize and see the error of her ways. It doesn't work that way.