I am at a loss on what to do anymore.

[Mimi00]

He said he maybe wanted to go to the movies. I said ok and left it at that.

However, I screwed up tonight, when he went to bed he said "good evening" Who says this? It was so formal -I gave him this look like you are kidding me right. He came back gave me a hug and I said good night.

We are having some neighbors over for HOA business and he asked me to send an email so I did and before he went to bed I wanted to ask him to pick some stuff up at the store tomorrow because I am leaving early in the morning and he has the day off or so i thought, He told me he is working. Remember OW is a coworker. This is where I screwed up ok maybe I screwed up by asking him to pick stuff up but I didn't think it was a big deal. Correct me if I screwed up before this.

I ask him if he just wants to be roommates until a certain date. He said no I said a normal husband would tell his wife he has to work. He said things aren't normal. I said given the situation he should be telling me where he is in advance. I know I know. Big mistake. It didn't lead to a fight. He calmly told me what his plans were for tomorrow. He has a therapist appointment and is looking forward to it.

What do I do now? Back to plan or do I have to do cleanup.

I am sooooooo tired of this, I am so tired of being dismissed or ignored. Him Working really doesn't bother me like it use to. What bothers me is I had plans and he invited people over. Since he did that I assumed he would take care of the house and refreshments, he even said to me earlier. I will have to clean up the house before people get here. It's actually not bad, but now that he has to "work". It will probably fall on me. I don't want to be embarrassed. Am I being too sensitive maybe I am just fed up.

He invited people over, but won't be there when they get there, or he just won't be there for the prep?

If he just needs you to help with the prep, I'd suck it up and do it, that's what we do as mates sometimes---pick up each other's slack. So you'll be showing kindness by doing that for him with out complaint.

Asking him if he wants to be roommates and telling your H they way husbands should be (a "normal" husband would do this, that, etc...) probably wasn't the best way to word things. Inspite of that he seemed to respond in a good manner and you didn't egg it on to lead to a fight so that's good. Next time why not ask directly for what you want with out the sarcasm and insults? Just say, "hey I'd like to know you work schedule in advance", or "if you get called in to work let me know in good timing so I can plan accordingly".


I'm not a vet, but I say say don't do "clean up" and rehash what happened just let it go and continue to focus on whatever positive changes and techniques you're working on.