"I asked bluntly does she want me to have any say in parenting S16."
Why on earth would you EVER say something like that? You're his father. Of course you have a say. Stop asking for her permission.
"She said yes. I asked if we dont agree on a matter how should we proceed, she said she didnt know."
Don't ask her these things any more. When you start communicating better, you'll be able to agree.
"I said I have clear and strong beliefs on what's best for him, but fear they will be construed as manipulative, or judging. I gradually got them out, gently."
Now you're assuming that's what she thinks. This hasn't happened yet, so don't even talk to her about it.
"I said I feel powerless in the situation w/S that I have no say in his parenting."
Again ... don't ever say that. Take charge. He is YOUR son.
"I asked what do I have the power to change, and she insisted she didn't know what, but that I still had a say."
Don't ask. Read up on how to be a responsible father and just do it.
I phrased it as a ? To avoid being accused of pressure or bullying. When I ask ?s though, then I am accused of manipulating. The gist of it is I have no say. He is with them. I don't approve. She knows that. Won't change.
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stop focusing on the "manipulation" part of what your W has told you.
that will be hard, as I'm accused of it at every turn, every time we disagree. Its why she insists we cant talk now without C. Especially if shes seeming to see my point of view. Isn't that a definition of communication? To understand each others point of view...
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
