If he masked who he was for 20+yrs to try to be someone he's not, how would I trust he didn't just get a new mask?
know this feeling- and quandry... who are they anyway?
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I almost feel guilty. He's so nice, and now asking about ''me'', my day, how the dentist went, how I'm feeling, and I'm all bubbly trying to give positive answers, who am I! I want to give him someone worth trying for, someone to work toward, but what do I know about what I want?
i hear this- sometimes on phone h is all personable and pleasant and sounding like he gives a darn - and i find myself thinking "what's he up to? more guilt motivating his charm" - i have no faith in his genuine caring...
it DOES feel fake to be all bubblie and so forth - when you're really riddled with doubt about their intrinsic worth and place in your life- YET - you're in this DB PROCESS and feel compelled to keep trying.
sadly- if either you or i ran into some wonderful guy- we'd remember what it felt like to have genuine affection and be off like a flash - what does that say about it all anyway?
ity's ALWAYS soooo easy when you're the guy with someone else in the wings - isn't it? my h - i don't know what his DEAL is- he's all making calls and saying he'll help figure out the sitch with my mom- i question his motives. i don't think it's merely from l for me- i'm with you - IF THEY CAN'T SAY IT - IF THEY CAN'T PURSUE IT - IF THEY CAN'T APOLOGIZE -
what the heck do we have here anyway? i don't know answer at all. i think with my h- it's guilt pure and simple - he's all happy and pleasant because he's got "IT ALL" AND THEN he's willing to cut me slack and be a nice person instead of a jerk. is that all there will ever be? maybe.
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If the actual words came out of his mouth to me about change, needs, wants, maybe I would give him the time of day, big maybe!
i feel like you do too . For me - i don't think i'll ever hear anything definitive from mine. i think he'll let me walk away at some point- I'll just shrivel up and fall off the vine - like a giant over-done raisen. and he'll let me-
my friend - while walking last nite - was talking about a girl she works with- and a spat with her fiance- and when it came to place about the guy pursuing her- she said after so much time together- he shouldn't HAVE to go after her when she walked out of his apartment. i thought interesting "TAKE" ON IT all- my feelings are HE SHOULD go after her-
if you care- and if it's important- you do go after someone.
my h- sadly, i'm thinking is the "man" type- (this girlfriend- in her m is the breadwinner and the "man" guy- outside the house all day- her h raised the kid, works from home, etc.
it made me pause and think- but then, like you- i feel they have totally jacked our lives and hearts around all out of recognition. unless they SAY IT- WE'RE not going to make any assumptions anymore in life. you can only believe in that and do it one time- if they blow that , then in future they have to get out of their comfort zone (one would hope) and make it work in a way that you can understand and relate to.
sorry- i feel like you do- it will be interesting to see what happens with your h and mine too- if they can "get it" enough to say it-
yours sounds like maybe he's heading in rite direction- mine, i don't know. i think he's so blockheaded- he will go to his grave thinking he's just a guy, being who he is, and a nice guy at that. it was alllllllll my own "problem" with the sitch- i mean hey- what's the big deal? tho he once grudgingly (no kidding) admitted sex with someone else is a BIG DEAL! COULDja die? oh well
life in outer space as usual. i'm tyoo tired and sick this a.m. to care too much- so i guess that's good too.
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY- HOPE YOU FIND EVERYOLNE you're looking for- will watch for word...
