DBing European Style, part 2

[Papa4Life]

Well, it looks like no amount of persuading is going to get my W to change her mind about telling the kids tonight. Not that I ever really thought I could change her mind -- about this, about D, or about anything else for that matter. That's always been my biggest complaint in our STBXM.

I'm really busted up about this. Thank heavens I've got my trip coming up on the 31st. I am in desparate need of some R&R.

I mentioned to W that I didn't think it was a good time to tell them. I want to wait until shortly before anything happens that will *directly* affect them, like if I move out or things like that. I also mentioned that I wanted to let them know that this wasn't my decision, and that I wanted to stay and work on a new R. W dismissed both ideas.

I went upstairs and looked around on the net for tips on telling the kids, and I saw a couple of things that said it should be presented as a joint decision. So having read that, I think I'll just go with that approach. At any rate, what I have to say after W drops the D-bomb on them is irrelevant. I want to listen, answer questions, and reassure them that they will be okay and that I love them so much it's ridiculous.

In lieu of telling them, I told my W -- probably for the last time -- that I don't want this and that I think we should stay and work on the M, but that I'll accept it because I want her to find happiness.

I also said that I'm looking inward and trying to work on changes and that what I want most of all is to become a better person and a better father for our 4 kids.

Any feedback, tips, or encouragement would be appreciated perhaps more than at any time until now. Thx.