Still Struggling and need help #3

[CharlieBrown]

I didn't say anything, but I don't know how long I can not and I know that I was not very talkative and outgoing when she was getting ready and came to bed. Hard to be when you feel like you are going to puke. When it is that much under your nose, I start to question how she can have dignity and respect for me? How can I have it for myself? I almost said "we talked in therapy about the importance of being honest with each other. I want you to know, you can talk to me about anything, and as long as you are totally honest with me, I will listen and not judge. But if we are going to be able to really make therapy work, I need to ask you about tat-boy and how he fits into you wanting to move to XYZ city and into what we have been going through the past few months. Please tell me everything." I am starting to think that the fact that she thinks I don't know is part of what is driving the secrecy and driving it further into "exciting obsession" territory.

The other weird thing to me is that this was literally on the day of therapy. Last week, same thing, we had MC on Thursday and Friday morning she is posting a picture of him on FB. It is like she is using this as a way to dig deep and really move forward with us emotionally.

Thoughts?

CB

PS - It was partially the thought of letting all of you down that kept my mouth closed.