those of you who know me know the story....discovered h's ea shortly thereafter he moved out and eventually asked for d all the while denying a r with ow...eventually admitting to feelings for her..eventually h came home and ended r with ow.
it has been over a year since h's return and of course things are better but not perfect.
some things I still struggle with...
h's low libido (as of now it's been 3 weeks since we've had any sexual contact) and of course the big one that I struggle with was h's ea at any point a pa.
now many people have told me to just accept one way or another and move on...easy to say for them.
if it was just an ea why do I struggle so with believing him?
if it was at some point physical and h just doens't want to tell me to "protect me" or himself for some reason, well that doesn't rest well with me either because it sends the message to me that he's not comfortable enough with me to be open and honest about everything.
Then of course there's the possibility that his not telling me (if there is infact anything to tell) is not about me but about him not wanting to face the truth and that also is in my eyes not a good thing.
These may seem like small issues in the grand scheme of things but anyone who's walked the path understands that they are huge!!
any thoughts (even from those still walking the path to reconcilliation) if welcome.
