Hit hard still taking another step forward.

[lovethehub]

T,

Just catching up on your last few pages...why didn't you try to take the time off before responding to her that you couldn't? It is clear that it is due to your insecurity about her going away, not about how you felt in April because you aren't feeling that way now (or you weren't before this interaction) yet you didn't even try to get the time off.

You need to understand something...there are serial cheaters who will cheat regardless of who they are with and how happy/unhappy they are and then there are what I have termed "situational cheaters". SC's do not cheat randomly and repeatedly, they cheat because they are so unhappy in their current situation and, for whatever reason, they decide it is the best course of action. If your w is happy, she is most likely not going to cheat. Also, NO AMOUNT OF CONTROLLING ON YOUR PART WILL PREVENT HER FROM CHEATING.

[T1000]

Thanks kingdl.
I appreciate the input. Your right she doesn't want to hear about me.

lovethehub,
I didn't try because I didn't want her to go. I blamed how I felt in April because in April I made no effort to book the time off because I didn't want to do it for her because she was dating.

Deep down it was my insecurity and jealousy that stopped me from following through yesterday. I never told her the real reason.
I'm ashed I behaved the way I did.

Not heard from W since I text her this morning about S3.
I will see her tomorrow afternoon when I pick up the kids.
Should I do anything?
Apologize with no expectations?
Ignore what happened?
Act as if and move forward?

[T1000]

Bump

Could do with some opinions on how to be tomorrow when I pick up the kids.
Should I do anything mentioned in my last post?

[Fartiltre]

T, you need the VETS on this one.
I hope one of them drops by soon.

[stilllookingup]

I'm not a vet so this is just my opinion.
She might have been over it or she must be still really pissed. I kinda think it's the latter because she hasn't texted and she didn't say anything friendly other than your S's condition in the last text.

I'd just be prepared how to respond if she's still really pissed. She might say something irrational and you need to be prepared to respond well to anything she might say.

This is just my personal opinion and Idk if vets will agree but I personally think you should at least mention it (and apologize) If you don't say anything at all she might feel you don't feel bad about what you did...

[adinva]

Think it through, you can figure it out.

If she were anyone else, and you behaved in a way you were ashamed of, would you consider a brief apology the right thing to do?

Behave the right way, be the person you want to be, and when you mess up handle it with dignity and character...independent of her.

Is shouldn't matter at all how you think she feels or what you think she wants to hear or how you think she'll feel about whether you apologize or not, or any of the other possible pretzels your brain can turn this into.

This is not about her, it's about you, and who you are.

Does that help?

[T1000]

I'm not a vet so this is just my opinion.
She might have been over it or she must be still really pissed. I kinda think it's the latter because she hasn't texted and she didn't say anything friendly other than your S's condition in the last text.

I'd just be prepared how to respond if she's still really pissed. She might say something irrational and you need to be prepared to respond well to anything she might say.

This is just my personal opinion and Idk if vets will agree but I personally think you should at least mention it (and apologize) If you don't say anything at all she might feel you don't feel bad about what you did...

I never even thought that she might think I don't still feel bad about it until you said that.

[T1000]

Think it through, you can figure it out.

If she were anyone else, and you behaved in a way you were ashamed of, would you consider a brief apology the right thing to do?

Behave the right way, be the person you want to be, and when you mess up handle it with dignity and character...independent of her.

Is shouldn't matter at all how you think she feels or what you think she wants to hear or how you think she'll feel about whether you apologize or not, or any of the other possible pretzels your brain can turn this into.

This is not about her, it's about you, and who you are.

Does that help?

Yes it does help. It can be confusing sometimes because on here a lot of the time we are supposed todo what is counterintuitive. When I think I should apologize I'm sort of waiting for someone to say: You shouldn't do abc, because of xyz.

[T1000]

Thanks for the input.

I agree that I should apologize. Unless I got negative response on here about doing so I was going to say something like:

"I deeply regret how I treated you on Wednesday. I am very sorry."

after a few beats or some talking

"Can you forgive me?"

Bit unsure about the last part. Looking at apologising to women online this morning. Many recommend asking for forgiveness. It said the act of forgiveness will unshackle her from the anger she may have felt toward you.

Th last part should help me somewhat too. I will also have a better idea on where I stand.

[Fartiltre]

Hi T

I just want to point you to "The Five Languages of Apology". I have been through it quite quickly but it makes sence. If you know her LL this will help you to give an sincere and good apology.

If you have the time go through the topic online before you meet up.

I will indeed pull for you an this one - I am certain that I am not alone!