Thx for this response. This is what I'm striving to do. I stay much busier then before. This is a good post and made a lot of sense to me. I don't think a kiss on forehead and that statement would go over well with my w personality. But detached who cares lol. So strange how somedays I feel completely detached . I am a good guy and will no longer defend myself and will no longer take blame for my wife's emotions or how she feels . Those are my mantras and/or campaign statements.
I also will let her know in time that working on a marriage doesn't entail brushing things under the rug and waiting for me to make a mistake . Marriage takes timely effective communication with conflict tools. We are both in conflict avoidance mode and we are both ACOA . I continue to do my work daily . She rather blame me and do zero.
I can tell you this I know I would make OW happy if it came to that .ive learned so much from all of this . My next R will be transparent , honest,with good communication
