New to this ...

[steveh27]

Got home yesterday after the above argument. I never responded but formulated many different responses but never sent. Although I was not in a great mood for obv reasons. I mistakenly ask about if she looked into job opportunities with a friend who oddly gave her some information about in front of me a couple weeks ago when things were just starting with us. She asks if I'm trying to start a fight, and it seemed like i did a bit honestly, I said no though. I go on to say, I just figured that since this is part of the process I would think you would have inquired by now. She gets mad and says "Your just confirming my decisions, thanks" and goes upstairs. Ugh - its so hard not to stay consistent with this, no one can do this without being angry and saying the wrong thing.

I give myself some time to gather myself and approach her and apologize. I said I brought home some anger from our previous conversation today, this is not easy having all these different emotions. She oddly agreed ... and she brought up that I didnt clearly mean what I said the other day about being ok with this and doing this amicably. I reassured her I did and we are not going to have great days with this as we move forward. I reiterated that this is all happening very fast and again we both have a lot of stuff we are dealing with ... and I just want to breath for a bit before we start making like changing decisions. She didnt say too much then, so I ended it with "I'm not asking for much, I know this is your choice, but please lets just take our time for everyone involved." Again she just looked down and didnt say much. I had to take my son to a game, so I changed the subject quick about that and tried to gracefully walk away.

I talked to friends of ours last night that went through this about 5-6 years ago. They were not amicable and they physically S for almost a year, they are obv together now. She said she couldnt stand her H during it. She said they were not nice to one another at all. He would go out at nights, then she would and they would argue about this and that. What stuck with me though is she implied she may have had OM (maybe just dating) involved during their seperation, and her H got involved and ended it. I explained thats what happened with me although we were still married. She said - yeah she probably hates you for that because I did when my H did that. I know I didnt make the OM go back to his wife, he seemed to run scared back to his family, but I dont think my W has processed that yet, or maybe she has and still blames me. I know she has talked to her C about this, but obviously her goal is to end the M, so the C is getting her through that.

Just venting here ... needed to get some perspective as I am trying to take this one day at a time.