- take following 3 weeks off all R work and "just be"
How's this ^^^^^ working for you, so far?
It's about how I expected honestly. We're not actively discussing our relationship right now, but I am holding my ground not being a part of this if OM is still in the picture.
And yeah, I snooped, but we already agreed to transparency so I don't think it's out of bounds. There's a little check and balance at this point as we both rebuild trust.
Originally Posted By: Mach1
I think you need to stand hard in this.
Yes, she will buck back a little
Reiterate your stance to her again, and that this is not healthy for the Marriage.
Talk through it, and listen to her reasons too.
Communication is the key now.....
Thanks Mach1....I think that's pretty much what I did. I told her it wasn't a fight, but a serious issue in our M we needed to work thru and I was willing to do that calmly and lovingly.
She didn't respond, but within an hour, she sent OM an email, copying me, saying "do not try to contact me via text or calls. All contact should be via email and only pertaining to deals we're currently in together. After those deals conclude, there will be no further contact whatsoever."
She then sent me a text saying "I did what I had to do to keep you." She apologized saying she is trying to change some things and they are going to take a lot of time, and thanked me for understanding her. I thanked her for respecting me and our marriage.
So all in all, goodness....we just have to stay the path and follow thru.
Last couple of weeks have been great, but also tough. There's been some hard discussions, a lot of hurt, and serious trust issues, but overall, I felt like the discussions were positive. We were spending a lot more time together outside of the immediate family, and that felt good.
Unfortunately, after a weird incident over last weekend, I felt like she was not being completely truthful. It only took a few days to find that she was still talking to OM every day and seeing him when she could.
I confronted her last night and gave her an opportunity to come clean. She had a very difficult time being honest, and after a few questions, I ended up ending the discussion because of continued lies. I gave her our last divorce papers, asked her to make whatever edits she needed to, and get them back to me today so that we can submit.
It's been a long long road, and while I still am holding out hope that reconciliation may happen one day, I can no longer stay in a relationship with a third person involved.
There is really no better way to describe an EA/PA than addiction. I could see the pain in my W's eyes, I could see that she really wanted to let OM go, she just hasn't found the strength to do so yet. So until then, I'll refocus on me and my kiddos, and keep moving forward.
