sitting here on a friday night in a quiet house, the children sleeping while h is off in houston texas somewhere celebrating his teams spot in the super bowl.
I'm not mad that he's gone there but will admit it does bring back some pretty icky feelings of the last time his team made it to the superbowl.
whether it's relevant or not...our dd was born in august, I discovered h's ea (ea/pa what's the friggen difference) in november and in january h went off to of all places New Orleans for the superbowl...a once in a life time experience as I saw it...low and behold two years later he's following them again. This time I am not left at home with a 2 year old and a 5 month old I am left alone with a 4 year old and 2 year old. The fact that I'm here alone isn't the real bother though.
I know that trust is my own issue and I can't keep h under lock and key but c'mon now?? how many people having been through all this would be completely comfortable with this?
I suppose I could take some comfort in knowing that h is not alone. He's with his father, buddie, brother and one other football friend. But this offers me no comfort what so ever. after all fil knew that h was "friends" with ow all along. As some of you know ow is a customer, fil and bil both work for h and know ow, fil only admitted after all hell broke loose that he saw h sitting on her deck with her drinking a beer and questioned him. The fact that he questioned him doesn't mean jack to me as when I discovered the friendship long after the fact fil assured me it was nothing. oh exuse me fil but if it was nothing than why did you tell me you questioned him?
suppose it doesn't really matter at all anyway...right? go to superbowl...stay home....trust is broken and will likely never be completely repaired.
looking around the world and wondering why people get married anymore.
husbands cheat and it's ok..there's some explanation for it..we've got books that will help wives to realize it was partially their fault to begin with for various reasons.
wives cheat and it's ok..there's some explenation for it...we've got books that will help h's to realize it was partially their fault to begin with for some reason or another.
At what point in life do people grow up and realize that high school is over and there is NO jusitification for having an affair emotional or otherwise?
At what point does marriage mean anything?
Do we never have to grow up?
can we just go through life always finding some cop out? some excuse for our mistreatment of ourselves and others?
Well asside from the fact that I find societies excuse like tendancies these days. (when the hell did we do away with accountability anyway?) I will be enjoying full reign of my bed this weekend and having some friends over for a bonfire in the back yard...smores anyone!!
