Thanks 2.4.... I have been doing my best to improve myself.. I know she has already heard of how good of shape I am in (lost 30lbs..even have a 6 pack) she txted saying that she heard I was in really good shape and that I must look really good. So yes word does get back to her. I still kind of panic a bit when I run into someone she knows.. get the shakes a little.. cracks in my voice.. it's like the last 6 months come back and hit me all at once... and it's not even her! I cant' imagine when I actually get to see her what I am going to do.. she has done very good by avoiding me... which is fine.. I respect that she can't face me right now.... she even said she couldn't bring herself to see me. I have heard this is normal.. So I am trying not to panic that I have only seen her like twice for 30 secs in the last 4.5 months..... and to be honest I am almost glad in a way... I could not have detached even this much... this fast by seeing her more than that.. and we all know the faster someone can detach and let their spouse go.... the better it is for everyone involved.. I can begin to heal and move on with my life.. and she can move on thru her journey without my external pressure. I hate every second of it and miss her like crazy, but this NEEDS to be done.
M-39 W-41 T-9yrs BD-Dec 2012 “regardless of your choices and the fact that they may have caused me to experience painful emotions, I still love you because I recognize the purpose of our journey.”
