Personally, I'm a believer in the power of one way contact. After a long enough period of NC, and once I got antsy enough, I'd send a simple, friendly email or text like "Hi, I hope things are going well for you".
No question(s), no big R statements, no pressure for them to even reply. Then just wait and see what happens. This cracks the door just a bit, and could offer some insight as to where they are.
I do believe there is a time for NC, and maybe that time is now for you.
The thing about no contact at all though, is that to me it could smack of "teaching them a lesson", which of course is not the signal we want to send.
Do you disagree with the others, then that I should wait until July?
There is no way I could decide that for you. You know your partner, your feelings, and what is more likely to work way better than I do.
I have not followed your whole thread but I noticed from your signature that you both still live in the same house? Was there a OM involved?
Same house for the duration, (with lots of distance) doesn't seem to be an OM.
I am jut wondering how you think those factors may have affected your actions. Obviously living in the same house indicates a door being somewhat open. My xSO is far away and we have not had contact in about six weeks.
I really am interested in others' perspective.
The real truth is that the NC is for me right now. I am exhausted and burnt from touching the hot stove. I am more frightened of what I may hear from him if I do contact him. Until that fear subsides, I do not want to risk any more of my mental health. I probably should not think negatively, but while we were in contact, he kept talking of moving. I know his MLC pattern well enough to suspect he is thinking of moving in with GF. I just do not want to know.
Right, NC is for you. Do it as long as you need to. Not to teach him a lesson, but for your own wellbeing. It's not a contest to see who can hold out the longest, with the one who does getting the win. The goal is to get back together, right? Who cares who contacts who first if the goal is reached?
That being said, if you do it you have to be smart about it. Start light, with no pressure, like I posted above. Sit back and gauge the response. Then wait a bit and decide your next move. I wouldn't call, that makes it more likely you'll get into stuff you'd rather not. Once you feel ready it's better to start with a simple one way (no questions or expectations for response) text or email, and slowly build on it.
Promise me you'll apply yourself to securing your job!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
